okay pat passed out under dana's car
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
