You can't special order awesome
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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