My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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