At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
