I have demons in me.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You need a sexual gate keeper
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
