I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Two words: blizzard sex
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
