I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
