In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i was born a porn star she said
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Randomize
