Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
