I hate your face
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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