Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
