I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
