OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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