its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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