Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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