the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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