is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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