i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
