so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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