I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
