You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Rumble strips road head = magical
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
