Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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