i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
