I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize