You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
