dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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