Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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