I can text with my tongue
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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