Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
