I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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