By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
