My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
