I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
