the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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