my vag is so smooth its legendary
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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