Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
