So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
