When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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