Will you blow on my dice?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
