wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize