DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
