sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
His nipple licking is glorious
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