Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
