wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
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Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
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HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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