dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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