Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
