I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
