You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
