And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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