I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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