It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
