I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I love you.
Bad choice
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
