We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
