dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
