You're completely useless in the revolution.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
