I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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