My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
