i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize