I just saw a hot homeless man
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
