You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize