I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
