i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
