Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Someone shit on the floor
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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