# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
