Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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