That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
